I am not supposed to be here.
Not supposed to be on-line.
The Mind dictated: “Off you go!”
I am cheating.
I am not obeying.
(Who is not obeying? And why?)
Here is what I believe. What I do not say publically.
I do not believe we are a Unified Self.
I do not believe we are Who We Say We Are.
I do not believe Thoughts. Thoughts keep the self alive.
I do not believe beliefs. (Beliefs do not believe beliefs?) Beliefs keep the self alive.
I do not believe that we are individuals, even thought 99.9% of us yearns to be individuals. Convinced that we are individuals.
I do not believe the inner voice that decides, that dictates.
I do not believe (and this is anarchy) that there is such a thing as an individual.
If you believe in individuality, please unsubscribe from this blog. Please go elsewhere. Find yourself a haven where other so-called individuals think you exist. Please.
If you think you are an individual, please peer closer at yourself–without the veil of thoughts which insist that you are a person who has existed since 1957 (or whenever you think you’ve existed). Please abandon what you think you of yourself. Look out over the swamp, out over the beaver-moving swamp, and try to separate yourself from the wet smell of beavers, sticks, sunlight, wood ticks. If you can separate yourself, ask: is a thought? If it’s a thought, look again.
Dive in the swamp. I dare you. Even though it’s April and damn cold–dive in. Hold your freezing breath as long as you can. When you emerge…
…I swear you won’t argue with yourself again.
Sneaking off now.
I’m not supposed to be here.
The Mind says.
Diving beneath the branches now and not emerging until—-