Desires

Work Zone

You can announce you’re going to be quiet, and maybe you are.

Or maybe you will discover you’re talking louder in other areas of your life.

You may say you’re not going to be blogging or responding to blogging comments, but~~poof!~~watch out.  You’ll find yourself inviting your neighbors over for tea, or chatting on Facebook, or babbling non-stop in your ever-active mind.  Or posting on your secondary blog, thinking it doesn’t count.

Apparently, you cannot stop being who you are.  Expressing what you need to express.

Can we truly, completely, totally, 100%, accept ourselves as we are?  Or must we continue the attempt to create ourselves into who we want to be?

If I knew the answer to this question I would dance and dance and ever-more dance, fearless of mosquitoes, fearless of bear who break down doors and burst into unsuspecting houses, fearless of complaints and whining, fearless of people you’ve unsuspectingly hurt, fearless of the effects of too much caffeine. 

I would be fearless of my own desires.

In the deepest of our hearts can we totally accept who we are?  Or do we perch on a ladder above an abyss, walking a rope stretched between two cliffs, attempting to balance, attempting to control, never swaying an inch too far this way or that way?

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14 thoughts on “Desires

  1. Funny, Elisa. I was replying to your other comment on OTDWO (ha ha) and you were replying here. What is a Cranberry Clown? And is action different than a being? I do not know the answer. I only know the questions.

  2. oooooooooooooooo the Cranberry Clown

    It is from the blog that I did: The King of Things and We All Fall Down from July 17th.

    Questions!!!? I found this at the library! I thought only you and I did such things as to write and to begin with questions. What? Are These the 20 Most Important Questions in Human History or is This a Game of 20 Questions?
    by Mark Kurlansky

    I do not know how the italics go, do you know how they go? Maybe you could pretend you do, if you do not, or provide me with directions?

  3. Kathy – Whether you’re blogging with words, photographs, or both…whether you’re posting in one blog, or another…

    …I enjoy being on the receiving end.

    Have you ever considered writing a book. I mean really writing a b-o-o-k…a place to give birth to words that need to be said.

    It’s a thought.

    It’s a r-e-a-l-l-y good thought.

    • Ditto that, Holessence. I too enjoy being on the receiving end of Kathy’s blogs, regardless of where she sneaks them through when she’s trying sooo hard NOT to blog. 😉

      Please keep sharing your photos and thoughts and insights, Kathy.

  4. Hi Kathy,

    I finished writing my blog today which is indirectly about accepting my imperfections and than I come here. You’d think after all these years on the earth, it’d be easy to accept one as one is.

    Elisa – I could so relate to the story with the Cranberry Clown; thanks for the link.

    “The time has come,” the Walrus said,
    “To talk of many things:
    Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
    Of cabbages–and kings–“

  5. I’m thinking, we’re a package deal (so to speak) and nothing of who we are is left out. Or ever meant to be.

    I would like to be fearless like this too Kathy. Of all my deepest desires. Smiles and sighs 🙂

  6. Kathy, when I think of all the paralyzing fears I have, this quote comes to mind. I used to have a huge poster of a snow leopard with the quote hanging in my bathroom, but some house-guests found it too disturbing so I put it away. But it always inspired me…

    “I meditate for the last time on this mountain that is bare, though others all around are white with snow. Like the bare peak of the koan, this one is not different from myself. I know this mountain because I am this mountain, I can feel it breathing at this moment, as its grass tops stray against the snows. If the snow leopard should leap from the rock above and manifest itself before me – S-A-A-O! – then in that moment of pure fright, out of my wits, I might truly perceive it, and be free.”
    ~ Peter Matthiessen (The Snow Leopard)

  7. Laurie and Reggie, I do often think about writing a book. Perhaps some day the desire to do so will reach a pinnacle and the words will spill out, heedless of all obstacles. It’s been both hard and easy to not post a lot of words during the last month. It’s been valuable word-less time, even though a few words peek through the curtains here and there.

    Gigi, I suspect many (most?) of us struggle with accepting our imperfections, or at least making friends with them. Some people just ignore or squlch their imperfections, and others embrace them wholeheartedly. Who knows what the best path might be?

  8. Colleen, I suspect you are right. We’re a package deal. Feeling the intensity of your desire…and praying we all find our way through the thickets of our journey.

    Barbara, deep bows. May the snow leopard leap when we are ready; may we perceive totally and fearlessly the mountain of ourselves.

  9. I think if we learn how to accept ourselves to the same extent we accept others, we can indeed, accept all of ourselves just as we are in each moment.

    I think of how I accept my son, 100%, just as he is. Then I thought, why am I so much harder on myself than I am on others, why don’t I accept me too?

    That alone, has brought considerable compassion for me, from me.

    I think there is a difference between non-acceptance of who we are and accepting who we are and aspiring to develop further the qualities we, our core selves, value…then enjoying the ever-evolving, as is the nature of all things :

  10. Thank you, dancingantelope, for stopping by this blog. It is so interesting how we can sometimes accept others for who they are…but not ourselves. To be compassionate toward ourselves is a great gift. And I LOVE Mary Oliver’s poem. So many of her poems speak to the heart, don’t they?

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