Waking up

Here

I will tell you what happened earlier this week.

Because the telling is the same as the receiving.

Because someone asked.

Because.

I sat in meditation, a solid person, thinking “I” was a solid person.

Somewhere in the meditation, in the inquiry which demanded “What am I?”, in the inquiry which saw the space as alive, as real, something shifted.

In that shift everything shifted.

In that shift, “I” became everything perceived.

The drilling woodpecker, the hum of my husband’s voice, the refrigerator’s motor.  The desk, the table, the carpeting.

“I” am it all.

“I” am nothing.

In that moment, laughter arose.

Of course.

We know who we are in every moment.  We are everything, everything, yes everything!  But we limit ourselves to a certain human perspective, a certain association with body or mind, a certain cutting away.

Later, it all blurs. 

I am an individual again.  Back in a body.  Thinking a self exists.

Dreaming a no-self exists.

What is real?  What is dream?  What beckons beyond self, individuality, humanity, laughter, reality?

If I could tell you, this blog would chuckle. 

This blog would guffaw.

This blog would grin.

But I can’t tell you–can’t tell you anything–and therefore you must look at yourself and determine if your solidity makes dinner tonight; if it catches a glimmer of moonlight before you fall asleep in between your shifting sheets.

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12 thoughts on “Waking up

  1. Now I just have this BIG GRIN on my face as wide as the state of Texas Kath! Correction, as wide as the Universe.

    I want to laugh and cry at the same time… no holds barred.

    I saw the video below today and this divine madman is expressing what seemed so close to this that you are communicating in this post.

    I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
    Woo Hoo!
    Ben

    • I just read–was it yesterday?–something about the dishonesty of NOT speaking of suffering if we’re still suffering. Until we’re truly not suffering, it’s simply another cover-up. What do you think about that, Elisa? (I could think about it both ways.)

      • well, if I let go of my idea that there isn’t suffering ever, and that it’s a fake idea, in order for us to have a discussion….
        Pretending to be ok isn’t ok, especially if it is a big fat lie to present a perfected fake face mask to the world.

        Why just this morning, I let shit fly! I stated how much of me that I gave up because it was of value to me to learn to honor another way, and another person’s wishes BUT, that when I lie about being ok with doing such a thing…OUCH.

        Everytime there is a new trend of supposed to be-s, the world changes the buzz-words it uses. Resonance, resonate, blah blah, to sound good, to cover up what is there. On the other think, maybe it is for some, about trying on masks like so many new clothes?

        Please, where did you read about the dishonesty of NOT speaking of suffering? I convince me that I don’t have a balance between accommodating others and getting what I want when I want it right NOW!

    • I have a Facebook friend who is into TSK and some of her comments remind me of this, as well, dancingantelope. I like wondering who I am. It seems to–sometimes–break through into something wider, longer, deeper, spacious, magnificent. The mind doesn’t necessarily like it. It thinks it knows who it is very well, thank you, and won’t you quit this inquiry! Ha ha…loving it…sometimes loving it… Do you practice like this, as well?

  2. Dear Elisa, I am looking hopelessly among my piles of books and wondering~~now, where did I read that?~~but none of the books have fallen off the table to offer their wisdom to us. Perhaps it is about masks for some; perhaps it isn’t for others. I certainly don’t know. Thank you for thinking about it and answering.

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