How vulnerable can you be?
Can you be so vulnerable you shiver inside because you know, you just know, you’ll be judged, axed, despised, tossed away like an unwanted fetus?
Do you want to be that vulnerable
or do you want to wear a mask to cover it up?
A societal mask with lots of frills and lace and
cherubs and pansies?
A mask that holds the vulnerability within,
without allowing it to unleash upon the world,
destroying confidence and joy.
Sometimes I let my vulnerability out and wait, the frightened child
wondering what will happen next.
Usually what happens isn’t as annihilating as the child assumes.
Usually it’s gentle.
Sometimes it’s vicious,
but the bite doesn’t give rabies.
I find myself letting vulnerability arise–part of the self
watching disinterested, not really caring.
The other part whimpers, afraid.
I would rather live with the wholeness of self
than mask this one unto its early grave,
never letting it see sunlight,
never letting it scamper beneath the white pines.
What would it take to today let the vulnerable one arise,
especially when you know society prefers you keep it leashed,
How will you respond when society hushes you away
with the curtain of respectability,
or lets you drown in your own not-knowing?
Do you have the courage to paddle to shore, no matter
what sharks threaten to nip at your legs,
harnessing your ability to swim,
diving deeper because you know
it’s what you really want,
even though it’s the scariest moment you’ve ever faced?