Ready or not

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She’s gone.

I can’t find her any more.

Except as a rising relativity, a blurred smeary mirror that can’t be wiped clean.

It scares the one who isn’t, that she can’t be found.

Life breathes into the fear and where is the fear now?

She still rises, but she’s created of thoughts & feelings, how odd!

Those thoughts & feelings, how do we mistake them for a self

when reality rises so much more expansively?

Why did we look at body and think it ours?

Why did we view thoughts and claim them, lasso them, commandeer them?

Why did we feel so acutely and build a sense of self around the risings,

imagining this pain, this happiness, this hurting, this delight meant

a human existed behind them, a solid compilation of personality and decision?

As you look around your coffee shop or bedroom,

how could you not be as equally the laughing woman rising cup to open lips

or the dresser drawers skewed halfway open?

When did we mistake ourselves for a single viewpoint, a microscope slide?

How much energy does it take to run the facade, the carnival mask, the

heroine, the hero, the living and dying one?

We’re running out of gas, she’s run out of gas,

she can’t run any more

from what’s bigger than the next sentence,

what sings from the ceiling,

what giggles near the window,

what never started and

–ready or not here it comes–

never ends.

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8 thoughts on “Ready or not

  1. I agree with Laurie– the question about our entire beings being reduced to a single viewpoint is profound… pandemic, yet profound.

  2. For me the most impactful sentence was:
    It scares the one who isn’t, that she can’t be found.

    I recognize that, I am familiar with that. Or someone does, LOL!!!

    Kathy, or ALL, this is an exquisite impression, of extraordinary power. I you am grateful to I you !!!

    The one who can’t be found and is scared, is also loved. Whew!!!

  3. The first thing that came to mind when reading this is a woman on a long run or a marathon…and she is contemplating and reflecting. I love this. You have a great way with words Kathy! 🙂

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