Learning to let the ego be

Like water

Like water

For those of us on a “spiritual journey” it’s so easy to see who we want to be (or don’t want to be) and proceed to pare ourselves into what we imagine we want.

We often attempt to dice, slice, chop and pulse ourselves into our mind’s ideal, don’t we?

We think we should be something the mind determines perfectly 78.65% acceptable.

We roll out the lists of should’s.

We should be kinder, less angry, give more money to charity, quit saying inappropriate things, speak from our heart instead of our side pocket, quit drinking, quit checking email so much, start volunteering at the local shelter, oh, you just add the latest pronouncement your Ego made in an effort to make you more.  More this, more that.  Something other than you are.

I want to say that this has been my biggest challenge.  I believed, truly believed, that I was somehow flawed and needed to change in order to become spiritually enlightened.

(And I see this in 99.2% of all people I meet.  That’s because that’s Ego’s job.  Ego tries to dream us out of the present moment.  Ego wants to create, create, create something other than what appears!  You gotta love Ego; she’s so often our creative muse, attempting to sing us into the next dream, and the next.  Unfortunately, by believing her, we usually miss the delightful present moment.)

What a relief to discover that we’re not as flawed as Ego attempts to convince us!

In fact, most of our flaws accelerate when we attempt to become who we aren’t.  The flaws fight back and increase.  They become furious that we’re playing an elimination game and soon we’re caught in a compulsive trap of wanting, fighting, wanting, fighting.

We can perhaps relax into who we are–with all our flaws–seeing that we’re not the Ego, we’re everything that arises in front of us (your computer screen, your cup of steaming coffee, the scissors, the bird flying by)–as well as realizing that we’re nothing except pure consciousness.

The allowing of the present moment, without trying to fix it, seeing it from the perspective of the All/Nothing can slowly (or instantly) allow us to encompass “what is”.

Written by someone who has not been willing to “let the ego be”…and even that can be accepted with a smile.  Or you can accept the frown that comes when the ego disagrees.  You can jump in anywhere and accept what’s arising.  Simply anywhere.

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8 thoughts on “Learning to let the ego be

  1. I seemed to have read some of this before Kathy or is that just my ego? As I read this I kept thinking, not very present, of Daisy’s blog this morning, Sunny Room Studio: which starts out with these lines; “There is no destination in life. Not really. But there is an illusion of
    movement or so-called progress.

    Time, however, is actually more like an invisible conveyor belt without
    beginning or end. And we are its passengers. Standing in place, but
    convinced we are moving forward.

    Yes, the scenery shifts…

    as I read your blog and Daisy’s my thoughts run to my present situation being my Mother’s caregiver and the role I play in that as a flawed human, questioning my spirituality, questioning wether I have the will or the power to accomplish anything good. When I feel like it is always wrong… ego and spirit have been struggling for sometime now…

    Love you!

    • Jeff, thank you for sharing. I am beginning to wonder if we really have will power at all. What if we are simply the ocean playing as a wave? What if the wave only has an illusion of control? Here is an interesting book I found yesterday: The Way of Powerlessness (Advaita and the 12 steps of recovery) by Wayne Liquorman. You might want to check it out? Love you!

      • Kathy,

        There more and more I that I am in this situation I realize it is what it is. I have to Be with it. not fight it or I drown in the wave, instead of being part of the wave and riding it! With practice I believe the ride becomes part of us… I will check out the book you suggested, and I loved The Ease of Being!

  2. Wonderful! Great Timing! Perfectionism and shoulding all over myself has been the 2 ton straight jacket here. In this, just showing up as I am in all my flaws has been freeing and very human as well.

    A friend told me just this week. Ben, it is nice you have your spiritual awakenings. Your here to be human too. Follow what interests you, forget about spirituality as a path except any specific practice you do first thing during the day. Live as the human now. I think you will find your awakenings much nearer than constantly checking in.

    Another post right on time!

    Thank you!
    Ben

  3. After my recent descent into Shadow City, I told a friend I felt helpless to be happy since it seems that however much we humans evolve toward light & love it would still eventually turn to crap again because of ego/greed. His reply was very helpful, “just because u know u will have to shit again, will u not wipe your ass?”.

    • Bill, that is a great answer! How funny, but true. wiping our ass is just a part of life. I hope you have had moments of happiness after that descent we all sometimes make…

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