I just woke up from an amazing dream



In the dream one of my blog readers decided to kill me.

She announced it clearly.  We sat in a room surrounded by a circle of women-friends. She took our her pistol.  She aimed it at Yours Truly.

I said, “You aren’t really going to kill me, are you?”

She said, “It depends how good my shot is.”

Me:  “Can I duck?”

She:  “You can do whatever you want to.”

My first reaction:  OK, now’s the time to be emotionally mature and go into observational mode.  It’s good to die spiritually aware.  Twenty seconds of high-falutin’ calm witnessing followed.

Then:  “PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!”  and three minutes of sobbing begging breakdown.

The blog reader gave me two metal forks.

“Put one of these in between your teeth so you don’t bite your tongue,” she instructed.

(I have no idea about the second fork.  She kept two for herself, as well.)

The dream–OK, nightmare–went on and on–for hours, it seemed.

Would she kill Kathy?  Wouldn’t she?

I fell asleep, woke up, went back in the dream.  JUST GET IT OVER WITH, I thought, somewhere in reality around 6:45 a.m.

The blog reader aimed her gun and shot.

Kathy toppled over.  (No pain, no blood, no anything.  Just a gunshot and it’s over.)

But, now, readers, I want to share the most amazing part.

The dream didn’t end.  The blog reader remained with the smoking gun, Kathy’s body lay on the floor, the circle of women still sat in shock.

But the dream didn’t end!

I saw clearly  that I was never that Kathy-person.  I was always, ever-always, the dream itself.

I saw clearly that it didn’t matter whether Kathy witnessed or begged for her life, if the blog reader shot or didn’t shoot.  It wasn’t a matter of morals or ethics (except in the lives of those being dreamed.)

None of it mattered.  The dream went on.  Awareness of the dream continued.  Awareness didn’t “go” anywhere, it didn’t follow the body, the imaginary character.  It just continued being what it always was:  the entire dream.

I woke up elated.  

So very clear.  So very amazing.

Time for a cup of green peach tea.  Pass the amazement, please!


16 thoughts on “I just woke up from an amazing dream

  1. oh my gosh! congratulations! you had a death dream! I love death dreams. I love realizing that whatever needs to “die” dies (illusions usually) and I continue and I don’t have to know what that was. Welcome to eternity. Now.

    I’ve been killed by a bear. One time I was dead for four years in my dream. I was shot in the head another time and ended up looking down on my body and seeing this very old, old woman on the floor, realized that it was me, then looking up and seeing a Native American man holding out his hand to me. I took his hand and have been living a different life ever since.

    The forks remind me of Laurie’s (Speaking from the Heart) blog about forks in the road (a little play on words), about what you might be eating, about speaking with a forked tongue (duality), biting your tongue about what you might be saying or not saying. That little broken tooth heralded this event.

    By the way, I didn’t sleep very much at all last night. I kept waking up every two hours!

    • Barbara, I so agree with you about death dreams. I remember back in the 80’s and 90’s so many shamanic death dreams. Once was pulled under ice and died…turned to skeleton… Have never had a dream of being dead for four years though! That sounds like a truly amazing dream.

      You know what resonated? The forked-tongue part. I so often feel like I speak in duality, saying things that feel like opposites. Thank you for connecting the broken tooth with this.

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

      • two things wrapped neatly in one (maybe the two forks–it was early this morning so I stopped at first thoughts)

        1. Tuning forks–in tune, resonate, energetic chiming, union.

        2. Eat of the spiritual and material foods, the forks always being the means allowing a choice.

        if i follow the thoughts, there are meanings of the two and I am imagining 3 tines per fork, one is teaching, the 5 is a choice of upper/lower, good/bad, choice of one over another, then the 6 (which shows on the lovers card, but actually means something else)

        If you would like me to follow it out further…I can. However, I am going out now, I need to turn up the spent squash and move 4 broccoli plants, i put them too close to the stronger ones and they are….needing help.

        It was sooo cold this morning and I have 3 hours of daylight left in which to prance! HUGS poof

        • Elisa, that is cool about the tuning forks. Especially since my *sniff* killer had the very same forks. We were in tune, in death and life.

          Guess what–I just came IN from the garden. Pulled up the broccoli plants and harvested beans, parsley, kale, oh some other stuff too.

          Prance away!

  2. Oh how I love this recounting of your dream — aware and staying aware leading to the incredible realization that you are the dream itself. I’m constantly amazed at our ability to “see” … really see … Here’s to elation and freedom and power and love. Thanks so much for sharing this, Kathy!

    • Susan Dee, here’s to elation and freedom and power and love! And here’s to friends with whom we can share both our weakness and strengths…and what is awake beyond weakness and strength. Love you!

  3. Wow!!! Wow!!! Gives me chills!!! I still await really “grokking” that truth, even though my mind is thoroughly convinced, my body is not yet….
    I guess though it seems weird to say, I am happy for you at the increased awareness this gave you!! And be prepared, it will fade in vividness within the human awareness which works on novelty, but never in truth.
    So appreciate your sharing this, for whatever we can catch via “smell” of it, which could be a lot!!.

    • OM, thank you for you comment so much. The dream has remained very vivid throughout the day–VERY vivid. Not in the sense of Kathy understanding it, but in the sense of knowing that the Kathy character isn’t truly “real”.

      I have no illusions that the vividness will stay, though. It comes, it goes. It comes, it goes. It’s been doing that quite regularly. Yesterday I was SO asleep in the personality that my friend Susan Dee (comment up above) had to nurse me through an extreme feeling of insecurity.

      Today it’s seen clearly through again. The “smell” of it.

      We’re not any different, OM. I don’t have any more realization than you do. Or, perhaps this is a better way of saying it: at some moments the Kathy-self does realize that it’s all a dream. At other moments the OM-self realizes it. As does the Elisa and Susan and Barbara selves. And we can all remind each other when we’re suffering in the throes of a limited self or only realizing a mental understanding that, yes, we’re all in this together.

        • Oh what a wonderful “downstream,” Kathy! I’ve been having lots of weird dreams but not recalling much upon arising. And don’t feel the need to capture or analyze, though in fact that might be helpful
          We are all transmuting SO FAST these days!

    • I so often wish these dreams & visions would stick-like-glue, Colleen, and that the full realization would last longer than the goosebumps. Glad you appreciated this.

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