Staying true to the current “yes”

Shifting yes

Shifting yes

Isn’t it true that our current “yes” keeps changing?

Every day we say yes to what we desire and value.  Our actions follow from that choice.

Quite often our response is almost unconscious, habitual, reactive.  We respond from the grooves in our minds which attempt to provide pleasure and avoid fear and pain.

Yesterday I heard a phrase in my head:  “Stay true to the deepest yes.”

That made me ponder–what is the deepest yes for me right now? With the total realization that a yes at 9 am. might be a different yes at 3 p.m.

Thinking about this resulted in a revelation that the times when I suffer often occur when following an old yes and trying to change it by saying no and not succeeding.

Did you follow that?

Do you want an example?

An impulse arises:  check email.  This is a groove in the brain formed from years of checking email and feeling pleasure.  The impulse often arises because there is an accompanying feeling (often unconscious)of  fear of emptiness arising.  A not-knowing-what-to-do.  A restlessness, boredom, nervousness.

I quite often just follow the impulse.  End up lost in the computer, asleep in my own personality, sometimes not even aware of surroundings.

I pondered:  Is this the current yes?  What is the deepest yes right now?

The deepest yes right now is to listen to when Life wants to check email.  When this happens, something relaxes.  The “I want” isn’t in control in the same way.  The email still gets checked as the day unfolds, but in a conscious way that makes the body/mind feel peaceful and calm.

The deepest yes involves pausing when the impulse arises and just sitting with it for a few moments.  Determining if it’s really true…does Life want to check email?  Or is it just habitual reactivity?  It wants to also see clearly what is driving the impulse.  Is it the phantom “me”?  Is it absolutely true in this moment of 9 a.m. or is simply not true any more?

The biggest insight gained from yesterday’s pondering was this:  What is the old yes?  What am I saying yes to when choosing to follow the original impulse without pausing?

It became clear that I often follow the impulse because I think I am saying yes to following the flow of the moment.  That it feels disruptive to pause and consider.  The inner rebel dislikes interrupting the moment’s flow.  It also enjoys the pleasure of connecting with others whenever it wants.  It appeases loneliness, provides “something to do” and often shares in a good way.

By perceiving both the old yes and the new yes there feels like a positive continuity, a new birthing.  It feels like both the children of yes are being appreciated.

The pause can be a gentle reminder, a moment of grounding, a space to see the heart’s truest desire.

Perhaps sometimes we suffer because we’re following a path which isn’t really true for us any more.  It’s good to perceive the current yes.

 

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10 thoughts on “Staying true to the current “yes”

  1. obsessing over which is old, new, or just life causes me to spin and to become UNgrounded

    I think that sometimes a yes is knowing that everything is not going to feel good and wouldn’t be real if it did all feel good.

    I am muttering a little about feel good this, escape that, be ‘happy’ it’s a choice no matter what(you are doing it wrong if it’s not)–gotta love the undertone, keeps a person coming back to the fix or to the cure. I do not think that you meant to have me noticing the relation to feeling good or great and escapism. But that’s ok 😀

    I like this writing.

    • I think obsessing over anything tends to make us ungrounded. At least me. Noticing what’s true feels gentle. If it goes on to thinking/churning/fixing/needing to feel good all the time energy, then that isn’t helpful. Coming back to the fix or cure can feel so blah. I know what you mean.

        • Yes, I know that feeling of what feels too hard. And maybe then we need to be very gentle with ourselves and realize that the first “yes” is still too important to us. And maybe to keep very honest why. Just to be clear why we’re following that first yes. And maybe–who knows?–the second yes will turn out to be completely unnecessary and maybe just a figment of our imagination.

  2. As someone who has dealt with addiction (smoking), I followed this very well. Sometimes the deeper Yes is the most difficult thing to do at the time, but it prevents suffering later. Hopefully. 😀

    • Robin, last night I listened to Adyashanti and he advises–these are probably not his words–that the yes be to stillness, the larger awareness. When the urge to smoke, check email compulsively, whatever, arises–then turn attention to that which surrounds and encompasses the craving. He seemed to say that the yes can come from ego trying to fix things, or the yes can come from a surrender into what’s true, the emptiness, God, whatever words we use. I like the distinction that he made. He said that’s what is crucial–the intent behind the spiritual practice. Is it an intent that is giving or trying to get? My goodness! To think that there is a yes which comes from ego and a yes from awareness. He then says stillness itself will make the decision to act, not the imaginary doer we think we are.

      I was blown away by his radio talk. Have you ever listened to it? It’s on once a month or so but starts at 9 p.m. I only lasted until 9:45 before falling asleep!

      • Thank you, Kathy, for passing that on. It sounds like a good practice. 🙂

        I have not listened to his radio talks. Looks like the next one is Oct. 1. I will probably fall asleep, too, since it’s at 9:00. lol!

        • I so get what you mean! Some of the talks resonate more than others–but last one sure “hit the mark” for me. Will be interesting to see what you think.

  3. Kathy, I just spotted your comment on Tuesdays with Laurie today and popped over to check out your website. I love your banner and blog post. I see it is on the theme of saying “Yes” which reminds me of a book I read “The Summer of Yes” by Karen Leahy, which I reviewed on my blog sometime ago .

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