I rarely talk about non-duality to anyone, except on this blog. It rarely comes up as a topic of conversation (except maybe with a friend who seems to resonate). Years ago I talked about spirituality to everyone who cared. My husband, kids, dozens of friends and acquaintances. It felt integral to talk about it.
Now, all these years later, it rarely comes up in everyday conversation. Even with close friends it’s impossible to articulate. My husband probably doesn’t even know the term non-duality. Earlier this summer I met someone who actually knew the language of Oneness and we attempted to talk around the edges of it. It’s truly impossible to speak. Yet speaking sometimes arises.
It feels much preferable to live it. Simply to be it. To be with the person to whom you’re speaking, sensing the intimacy of our connection. To see the thoughts attempting to explain the interaction, doing what the Mind does. To witness emotions rising in the field of non-separation. To perhaps find oneself suddenly totally identified with a personality. To, in the next moment, experience a knowing that awareness is Joy. To realize–I AM THIS JOY which never ends, even when we seemingly forget it. To watch Life reaching compulsively for something through your hand. Thinking you’re that separate person reaching compulsively. To witness judgments arise. To watch Life reaching non-compulsively and deliberately toward something else. To notice that no judgments appear. And then watching another person walk across the room and you suddenly FEEL that person’s steps, the way you are the dream which contains that person and the room and the person we call “me”.
How in the world can one talk about this? Impossible. Ridiculous to even try.
And yet, sometimes, Life just starts talking or writing about it. Sometimes for days in a row. Life blooms it into another mental concept, perhaps just for the space of a blog post. Just for the fun of it. Or just for the seeming separate self that wants to play at another explanation, even though it’s no more or less true than a finger pointing toward the moon.
I have liked this little blog–Simply Here–because it tries to paint a picture of the internal world of life expressing through what seems like Kathy. This gestures toward what I truly am. Which is the same thing you are. Life may care to explore that through you, are it doesn’t give a damn because it’s having too much fun simply being you.
If we sat together across a table we’d probably never speak of it. Why bother? Maybe we’d talk about hiking instead, or how we’re feeling about such-and-such or isn’t it sad about Ebola? Unless Life insisted. And then we’d speak about Oneness until the words dissolved like honey in the tea cup, like we’d never said anything, and perhaps we’d toast: To Life. L’Chaim! (If Life was feeling particularly humorous, perhaps we’d wink.)